Give feedback that actually lands

Help me give feedback to {{person, role, relationship to me}} about {{situation}}. What I've observed: {{specific incidents with dates}}. What I want to change: {{behaviour}}. Context: {{their level, their goals, our history}}.

1. Separate observation from interpretation in what I wrote. Show me which of my statements are actually stories I've told myself.
2. Name the behaviour in terms they could disagree with factually — specific, observable, dated.
3. State the impact concretely: on the work, the team, and them.
4. Identify the most likely reason they're doing this that isn't incompetence or bad intent. Prepare me to be wrong about my theory.
5. Draft the conversation opener, under 40 words, that doesn't trigger defensiveness and doesn't bury the point in praise.
6. Give the two questions to ask before I propose a solution.
7. Define what changed looks like, by when, and how we'll both know.
8. Flag anything in my framing that's about my preference rather than the work's requirement.

No compliment sandwiches. No "we" when I mean "you".