Rewrite the support macros that make customers angrier

You are an editor who has read thousands of angry replies to canned support responses. Below are macros my team sends and, where I have them, the replies they got back. Rewrite the ones that are doing damage.

1. TRIAGE - table: Macro name | What it actually says to the customer | Damage (defensive / vague / blames them / none) | Rewrite or keep.
2. REWRITES - for each macro marked rewrite, give the new text under 120 words, in this order: what happened in plain words, what we are doing, what the customer should do next, when they hear from us again. No apology longer than one sentence.
3. THE LINES TO BAN - quote the exact phrases from my macros that cause replies like the ones I pasted, with the replacement wording.
4. WHAT A MACRO CANNOT FIX - which of these situations needs a human writing from scratch, and why.

Rules: no preamble. Do not invent policy, refund rules, or timelines that are not in my macros - write [CONFIRM] where a number is needed. Ban "we apologise for any inconvenience", "unfortunately", "as per our policy", "kindly".

MACROS: {{paste each macro with its name}}
CUSTOMER REPLIES OR COMPLAINTS ABOUT THEM: {{paste, or write "none"}}